A Love Letter to Michaela Coel
I've been obsessed with Michaela Coel (and her cheekbones) for quite some time. But it was after watching her semi-autobiographical series, I May Destroy You, last year that my admiration heightened from 'big fan' to 'crazed groupie'.
The series - which (her royal highness) Michaela Coel wrote, directed, AND stars in - was the most sucker-punching-ly devastating, hilarious and powerful thing I have ever watched. (If you've not seen it yet, stop reading this article and go and put it on immediately! [Then come back and read this after and we can discuss.])
You don't really just watch Coel's writing, you feel it. In your gut, in your brain, in your chest. The series left me feeling and reeling so much that I've had to watch it twice more, cry about it several times more and wait a good few months before I could write about it.
This article is a big fat thank you to this exceptionally talented woman for creating such a monumental piece of television. It's also a WHY ON EARTH HASN'T IT BEEN NOMINATED FOR A GOLDEN GLOBE (and Emily in Paris has? - not that I've watched EIP or have anything against it, but come the fuck on Bridget). And finally, it's a PLEASE watch this. Then watch it again. And then shout about it to anyone that will listen. If we don't look back at this series in years to come as a mother trucking turning point for women in television, in life, in dealing with sexual assault - well, then I'd be as surprised as if Trump issued an official apology for his (idk) existence. And, more importantly, if the industry awarding bodies aren't going to celebrate this work of art, it's down to us.
So, why is this series so unbelievably good? It'll be my honour to try and tell you.
I May Destroy You is an exploration of the lines of consent and the echo-chamber of destruction that crossing these lines can have. Throughout the series, we follow the story of young writer, Arabella, as she struggles to piece together her second book. One night Arabella goes out with her mates; dancing, drinks, drugs you know the score (gosh how I miss two of those three). Next thing she wakes up in front of her laptop, head bleeding, struggling to piece together how she got there; with only a horrifying flashback of a squeaking door, a small cubicle and a stranger thrusting furiously above her.
As the season unfolds, we see Arabella's life unravel as she grapples with the trauma of this assault. Watching the story play out is both horrifying and mesmerising. So beautiful and so painful. You find yourself hysterically laughing one minute and sobbing the next.
Besides the stunning way it is shot (and the banging soundtrack that accompanies the strikingly unique and clever visual style), the topics that Michaela Coel unflinchingly serves us in this MASTERPIECE of television are ones that just simply HAVE NOT EVER been explored in this way before.
From a period sex scene where a blood clot is an unlikely star, to a London basically never depicted on our screens. From the frankest discussions about consent I've ever heard to the boldest, most honest depiction of sexual assaults (and the role that gender, race and privilege plays in such scenarios) that I've ever witnessed; I May Destroy You hits you in the face. It doesn't allow you to shy away from the topics that most people try to bury under the carpet and avoid at all costs. It's a visceral depiction of societies 'things that shall not be named'. Unflinchingly honest. And just SO f*cking brave. (And entertaining, I challenge anyone to watch this and not enjoy the majority of it).
The show is even more astounding when you discover that it is based on Coel's own experience with sexual assault. This 12-episode work of art is private trauma being processed in the most public of ways. And, in such, is a powerful case study of both the impact that trauma of this kind has on a person (and their relationships with others), whilst in and of itself showcasing the power that people (like Michaela Coel) who survive, thrive and carry-on LIVING life to the fullest afterwards possess. A topic that, for so many of us, is unavoidably close to home:
20% of women and 4% of men…
have experienced some type of sexual assault since the age of 16. By exploring consent and the multitude of different ways a person can be assaulted, in I May Destroy You, Coel does away with the damaging myth that sexual assaults are rare or exceptional. In doing so, she is broadening minds and (I hope) opening up conversations about something that needs to be talked about for so many reasons. To stop people imploding rather than getting help. To make the right kind of help more readily available. And (most importantly) to stop the tidal wave of unreported sexual assaults.
It's funny, (in a non-humorous way) I started writing about this show months ago but shied away from it because I didn't feel like it was the 'right time' to talk about such a 'heavy topic' with, you know, the world falling apart around us. But I've come to realise that this show about destruction in a world that is imploding is oddly comforting and could not be more relevant. The humour resonates on a different level and the topics it covers are ones that nothing (not even a global pandemic) would (sadly) be able to render irrelevant or unimportant.
In creating this show, rather than hiding from her trauma - Coel brings to light the reality of it, an empowering reality of something that no one wants to talk about. It says (to me at least), it's horrendous but it happens. There is life after the destruction. And real power in the rebirth and rebuilding of yourself.
The other most impactful element of Coel’s show (if the rest of this article wasn't enough for ya!) is its ambiguity. Coel never once tells us what to think, who to judge or how to take her work. She just tells you the story, her story, in the most creative and thought-provoking way. It is allegory at its finest and creativity at its highest form. (In me opinion). And in its ambiguity and the lingering questions (both public and personal) that it leaves behind, lays its power. I hope in telling her story in this way, it inspire others to lift their silence.
This show felt like a turning point. I really hope it is one. (Whether it was nominated for the golden globe it deserved to win, or not).
So, in summary: TV awards are a farce. Michaela Coel is my personal hero. AND GO WATCH I MAY DESTROY YOU GODDAMMIT.
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If you have experienced sexual violence of any kind or have been affected by any of the topics in this article, please visit Rape Crisis or call 0808 802 9999.